Trista Sutter, 48, has revealed that her husband, Ryan Sutter, the former NFL star, has been struggling with a mysterious illness for months.
On Sunday, the former Bachelorette took to Instagram to post of her husband, captioning, “This week is usually one of my favorites. Creating memories with family, honoring traditions, filling our bellies with the tastiest of treats, and recognizing our blessings. I wrote a book on gratitude after all. It’s for that reason, though, that I haven’t posted.”
“I know I should be thankful, but I don’t want to be fake. And, I’m struggling. This guy…my rock, my best friend, my hero, my love…is struggling,” she continued. “Not everyday, and not to the point that he can’t work or cook or exercise or be with family, but enough. We’ve been struggling for months. Struggling to get answers.”
Trista said that the family has recently “found out that Ryan doesn’t have cancer,” though his doctors are yet to confirm the diagnosis.
She wrote, “A HUGE relief…without a doubt, especially after fighting to find a doctor to take symptoms that lined up with lymphoma seriously and advocating for the scans to rule it out. But part of us was wanting a diagnosis.”
“Wanting to be able to fight for him to be cured instead of fighting for an answer,” she wrote. “How messed up is that? Don’t worry, I know. It’s messed up. But, that’s where we are. In a holding pattern of not knowing.”
Trista said she understands “it could be worse, so for that, I am thankful.”
“Thankful to not have to be separated from a loved one who is dying due to COVID. Thankful to not have 2 children with a cancer diagnosis. Thankful to have each other and health insurance and jobs and a home and food on the table and healthy family members and all the things that make this life struggle-free. But if I’m not posting or answering emails or emotional or disconnected, please remember that everyone is struggling in some way, behind closed doors.”
“We are young-ish and blessed, but not immune. We lived a fairy tale on TV and have a great life for all intents and purposes, but answers would be nice. So, I’m going to keep praying for answers and am hopeful that if you are the praying type, that you’ll think of Ryan when the time comes to send up a message,” she added.
Married in 2003, Trista and Ryan share two children – son Maxwell Alston, 13, and daughter Blakesley Grace, 11. The article originally appeared on PEOPLE.